Sometimes I feel fat…

 

No, I am not.  And Yes I do know that.  I work very hard at the gym, I eat healthy and I am aware that I am very fit, especially for my age.  However some days I can look in the mirror and feel amazing and other days all I see is rolls and lumps where all the muscles I swear just were.  My body sits at about 15lbs more than competition weight when I don’t watch what I am eating.  My boyfriend eats everything and anything, usually covered in gravy or cheese, the kids are the same.  Click HERE to hear it from him.  Truth is, I was like that too for years.  Now I cannot eat like that.  However it seems that even when I think I am watching what I eat and not eating clean 100%.  My body adjusts and sits at almost 15 lbs more than competition weight…. And that 15lbs bothers me more than I like to admit.

 

I despise the scale with a passion.  I like to go by what I see, and how my clothes fit. Here’s some tips for tracking progress other then the demon box. However with the addition of my new trainer I have to take weekly progress pics, and oh ya… step on that stupid little scale once a week.  And it is messing with my head!  I have been consistently losing every week, however add in a bad progress pic this morning and even though I’ve lost just less than 10 lbs in the last four weeks.  I still don’t feel good.  Today I feel fat.

 

Here’s the silly part.  When I woke up to go to the gym this morning, I could see my abs.  Wish I’d taken a picture, because I really did feel great about how I looked.  Then I went to the gym and got on that scale and suddenly I felt awful.  Came home and had my other half take my progress pics to send to my coach and my mood plummeted.    The pictures were just bad pictures.  I was part way through getting ready to go to work, my hair was all over the place, and my other half doesn’t see what I see in the pictures ever.  Gotta love him for it.  But those pictures along with that little box put me in a bad mood.

 

So… What’s the point of this post?

 

Well I guess even those of us with the best intentions and mind set get upset by that stupid little box called a scale.   Yes my mood plummeted but it is coming back up.  I feel better having written this post just because I said it and can see how ridiculous it is to be upset by it.  I also think I need to find a way to weigh myself for my trainer without actually having to look at the number myself.  Hmm… that one could be tough!

The honest truth about being a competitor.

This post may not get me any fans.  Its just my honest truth about what I have learned being in the fitness industry for the past 3 years.

 

1.  Competing is hard!

I’m not talking about getting on stage, though getting up the nerve to step on stage in 6 inch clear stripper heels and an itsy bitsy bikini is certainly not an easy thing to do.  I’m talking about weeks and months of eating chicken out of tupperwear, not going out with friends, and dealing with people who think that you are starving yourself (You’re not, and most of those people are only projecting their own issues with food onto the lifestyle you chose) You give up relationships, you give up time out with friends, you give up sleep, you give up time with your family, you give up alot.  You also invest alot and gain alot personally.  Most people have issues with your life style because its not something they can do, not because its something you do.

You know you are a bodybuilding competitor when….

2. You are not going to become famous

People like dana linn bailey, kai green and phil heath are the exception!  The chances of making a living to support yourself with this sport are slim to none.  I am an active member of the fitness community, however I am not a sponsored athlete.  I would love to become sponsored by one of the many companies I love however I also do not and will not ever become a sponsored athlete of a company I cannot support or believe in.  That being said, competitions and organizations prefer sponsored athletes (uh oh…. there’s one of the truths the industry won’t like).  Showing up at a show and competing with a slew of sponsors will definitely get you noticed and make sure you  place better than non-sponsored athletes.  I have been at shows where I am positive the best physique for the category did not win…. for a few reasons.  Either its their turn for having put in their time, they may even be a brand new competitor with no following and the least physique but they have a list of sponsors on their bio.  I have a question: How is this your first fitness competition and you are already sponsored by a list of companies… not only that but you have no social media, and no following but you are sponsored by some of the biggest companies in the industry (yep, people lie)  However if you are “sponsored” by a company that the organization wants weather real or supposed you will get noticed. … that does’nt mean that you will continue to win, you’re just good for the organization.  The best does’nt always win.  And most competitors work full time jobs with kids and make major sacrifices for their sport.  A few of the pro’s in my organizations national competition coming up are begging for donations right now in order to compete….

 

 

3.  Competing is Expensive

That being said I have seen people win in victoria secret $70  swim suits. But registration for a show generally runs into a couple hundred dollars, with tanning, make up, hair, suits and costumes you are looking at a minimum of a 500 investment per show… and that does’nt touch on training, or photography or any of the extras that many see as a requirement.  There are many ways to save on competing but you also need to know that not using the sponsored “teams”, official “makeup and tanning” etc  may work against you.   People in organizations talk.  If you’re doing it to prove something to yourself then make sure you check out my post on ways to cut costs HERE.

 

4.  Its an industry… deal with it

Like any money making industry the fitness industry is there to make money.  Every organization is trying to get the most competitors (registration fees and sponsored companies) and the most sponsors, magazine exposure and recognized athletes as the next.  Some are more focused on the competitors then others.  Some are more objective then others.  Except it is still an industry based on money.  If you do not fit their version of a pro athlete or do not have enough push and clout behind you it does not matter if you are the best physically… if you are not marketable then you are not going to get it.  its just the truth.  This is a subjective sport.  Subjective to the industry professionals and the organization you choose to compete in.

 

4.  Drugs are prevalent.

When I first decided to compete I cannot count the number of people that asked me or my mom whether I was on drugs!  I compete with the UFE.  Its a drug tested drug free association… sorta.  Anybody that knows anything about bodybuilding knows that even the pro’s in a drug tested organization are not necessarily drug free.  It only means that the steroid using athletes have learned when to cycle off their chosen poison in order not to get caught.   That being said if you decide to compete in a drug free association without drugs know that you will have to work twice as hard.. and twice as long.   Does’nt mean its not possible, just means that 12 weeks of working out and dieting will not make you win against 6 months of roids…

 

5.  Know why you are doing it.

If you are competing in order to prove yourself to yourself, as a goal, or just to feel good about yourself DO IT!.  But just know its addictive.  That how I started.  It was a goal.  Now I want to win, and ya, I am working my arse off to get it.  But the chances of stepping on stage and winning your first competition are slim to none.  The chances of becoming a professional fitness model or bodybuilder with sponsors enough to never have a real job again… probably less than 1%.  The sport is amazing.  It is an amazing industry with fabulous motivated individuals striving to be their best.  But it is not a means to an end.  It is promoting a lifestyle, one that can be healthy and one that can also mess with your head.  If you do not know where you want to be, what you are and why you are doing it.  Dont.

 

 

There are my photos and then the professionals do it….

Big thanks to chris Linton photography and AM pro makeup

not second last!

Does’nt sound like much an achievment.

 

However.  My goal was always to do better then my last competition  Which means for me, do better, feel better and look better.

Results posted for the bikini category.  Master’s only qualifies the top 3 for elite.  And the top 5 for open.  and…. I came in 5th out of 12th for Master’s.  May seem odd but 5th in bikini means more to me then 3rd in fitness.  YAY!

 

 

5TH PLACE! UFE Bikini Masters 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

Full Competition Recap and Plans

UFE SHOWDOWN 2014

Showdown took place at Centenial Hall right here in good old London Ontario.  I do not work on Fridays and I spent the day limiting water, getting my nails done, and getting spray tanned for the competition.  For a tan this time, since I am always looking for a way to keep on Budget rather than do the traditional Competition Tan, I bought a bottle of Pro Tan overnight competition tan.  This stuff is amazing.  I began on Wednesday night by applying a coat, did the same Thursday night and then went for a regular old spray tan on Friday afternoon.  The other half took the kids to the race track Friday night, and I headed to the athletes meeting.  There were ALLOT of competitors in this show.  My guess is well over 100.  So, it was jammed, and moved incredibly slowly.  Suggestion:  Allow people to fill out their waivers, and bio’s online and give out the Goodie Bags at the show, perhaps during the 9 am meeting?  Standing around for 2 hours dehydrated but having to pee and throwing off you’re meal schedule the day before the show is not a lot of fun.  Either way I met some great people again.

Day of the show, Countdown over!

Friday night I barely slept, too excited, feeling fabulous and just generally wound up.  Got up at 5 am and put curls in my hair, Alysia of AM Pro Makeup Artistry came to the house just before 8 am and I can honestly say she is absolutely amazing!

 

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Was supposed to be at the venue for 9 am, but the athlete meeting pre-show never happens when they say so I didn’t miss it even though my hair wasn’t done yet and I was running behind.  Totally lost my brain Saturday morning and forgot to bring my competitor numbers as well as the memory card for the camera.  Not that it matters, the other half isn’t keen on taking my picture apparently.  He got some good shots with his cell phone I suppose and I even talked him into 1 whole picture with me.

 

I competed in Masters Fitness Model and Masters Bikini.  I felt amazing.  However I rushed my bikini walk as its the first time I have been on stage for a year and regardless of all of my practice I got nervous and zipped through my walk.  My Bikini round of fitness model went really well, the judges were paying attention, I felt confident and fit.  Sports wear for fitness model, I had pink boxer bottoms (seen above) that were riding up and I tried to utilize bikini bit to ensure I was showing the goods on stage, instead just ended up with big dark glue marks on my hiney.  I had been prepared and brought another pair of bottoms, however they had fallen out of my bag and before stage time I could not find them for the life of me.  (I wore them at the evening show).

Pre-judging done, we went home and I could have gone straight to sleep.  However an hour later I was back at the venue for pictures with Chris Linton Photography  He was amazing to work with, I have not seen the photo’s yet but I am waiting on pins and needles.  They were taken outside of Centenial Hall in the court yard.  Lets just say you get some crazy looks from people when you’re wandering around at 2:30 in the afternoon downtown in a hot pink bikini and clear stripper heels!  It was so much fun and I can hardly wait to do another photoshoot.

 

After that I had about enough time to go home, have a glass of vino, feed the kids, and head out to the evening show.

 

Evening show was so much more fun than the morning, everyone was having fun.  You relax, the judges have made their decisions.  I spent all day having complete strangers telling me that I had this.  I felt like I had it.  Masters fitness model was called for awards first.  And I got 3rd!  Yes very excited and suprisingly very dissapointed too.  I really thought I HAD this.  All that work.  However and some won’t like that I am posting it.  I don’t think I get brownie points for being my own trainer, or for not being part of any of the “teams”…  I also have no sponsors, no idea how you get them either.  So, yes I am now a UFE Elite Fitness Model.  Bikini masters I have no idea where I placed because they only called top 5 and have’nt posted results yet.  Not so upset about bikini even though I thought I came through on my phyique and my quarters turns, but I screwed up my T-Walk (nerves!)

3rd place masters fitness model ufe showdown 2014

So… its been a week and a half.  Now what?

Trainer

After asking for advise and speaking to a few I have made the decision to hire a well known trainer.  Not announcing it yet, as I still have to figure out how and send them funds.  Announcement coming soon!  This should deal with the No Trainer and no idea how to promote myself issue.

Gym

Still at it.  Hardcore.  I want to compete again in the fall and I want to win.  First place please and thanks.  So, still going hard.  Took 2 days off right after the competition and schedules with the kids starting summer has been a little chaotic however I am dedicated to my workouts and my lifts are coming back up.

Food.

Oh how I missed food.  Regardless of my best intentions I jumped two feet off teh diet right after the show.  I have eaten and drank to my hearts content.  That’s gotta stop or all that hard work is right out the window.  Competition weight is not do-able year round with a job and a life however I do not want to go back up to my starting weight 12 + weeks ago of 143 either.  Seeing as I want to compete possibly october and definitely november that means its gotta stay relatively clean.

 

 

 

UFE Showdown 2014.

Yesterday was a lovely day full of meeting amazing people with like minded goals.

 

Had a lovely day and as usual the show was run very well and very quickly.  I competed in Masters (35+)  Bikini and Fitness model.  I felt amazing.  Thought I had it this time.  But then, you never know what the judges want at these shows…. so who knows.

Regardless Big Thanks goes out to Alysia Marrisen of AM Pro Makeup for my amazing smokey look.  As well as the girls at Hollywood tan for doing an amazing job on my color.

Did not place top 5 in the bikini division.  And got 3rd in Fitness model.  Thinking I will be trying out the OPA in the fall, possibly the Oktoberfest in October.  For now I am going to enjoy the nice sunny day, be proud of what I accomplished and put my feet up for a day!  Thank you for everyones support.  It truly means the world to me.

 

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Showdown 2014

D day! Prejudging is done. Tough competition but I feel amazing.

Awards after the show tonight. Huge thank you for all of the support I have received. I will write a full post about this experience and the results this week. Here’s a sneak peak

Chemical burn… Are you kidding me?!?

So the whole “no hair” for the comp prompted me to use nair
And I did the whole test spot.. And it worked mostly. My right arm didn’t like it and I am left with this. Lovely

If you believe it you can achieve it!

My goal I set 11 weeks ago was 130lbs before peak week (starts Sunday). As of this morning 129.9lbs. Goal achieved

Now just 5 more days of work, a 12 hour relay, 6 more workouts and 9 days. Going to say it…….(drumroll please). I wanna WIN!

12 DAYS TO UFE SHOWDOWN 2014

INJURY UPDATE

Big thanks to the chiropractor, I am again functional, if not 100%.  Went and saw him early last week, he cracked my spine back into place, did some kind of ultra sound thingy on the sore muscles and then electro shock therapy’d me and told me not to “twist”.  So for 3 days I literally didn’t.  It is not so much my back that was hurting, though certain movements were certainly uncomfortable.  It was soft tissue damage from buggering up my ribs right in my chest.  I spent the rest of the week doing lighter weights than usual, and some BORING steady rate cardio on the recumbent bike.  Great thing about this was I also found a great new book (new for me anyways) Bryce Courtenay Fishing for Stars.  (Baz if you are reading this, you’d likely love this guy all of his books are based in or around Australia with amazing descriptions.)

As of this weekend I am again able to work-out all body parts, though I am still being careful and avoiding twisting movements.  Managed a pretty decent shoulder workout yesterday and while I could definitely “feel” the injury for the rest of the day it was fine as of this morning.  Bonus back to my bursts of jump rope during cardio and not sitting on the bike anymore, though maybe one day this week since there is only like a chapter and half left in my book.   My diet has been pretty good, I did not weigh myself last Tuesday like I usually do because I was feeling rather over whelmed by the injury and while I don’t put much stock in the numbers I did not need to see what the scale said in case it said something I did not like.  Will weigh in tomorrow and discover where I am.  To be on target it “should” say: 132.3.   If it doesn’t.  That’s ok.  I feel great and I know my body will do amazing things in the next week or so.

SHOW UPDATE

UFE Showdown has historically done the Open and Master competitions in the AM followed by an Elite / Pro only show in the evening.  I loved this last year because it meant, at 10 am you arrived at the venue, and by 2:30 – 3 you were done and knew how you placed or did not… (well, not exactly… You were either in the top 5 or not)  This year seeing as I am back in my home town where the competition is, we had planned a big back yard BBQ for afterward and my sweet heart promised to make me home made burgers and cheesecake… mmmmm cheesecake.

However they have updated the show format this year and the 10 am show is now pre-judging for Open, Master and Elite categories.  Evening is finals again for all 3 categories.  Which means both pre-judging and the evening show are going to be very long events.  UFE is pretty good at moving things along though and half the fun is back stage.

So change of plans, we will be relaxing in the yard between the shows and heading to Joe Kools afterwards, all are of course welcome.

RELAY FOR LIFE

Just like the last few years this Friday June 13 (one week before the show) is the Canadian Cancer Society Relay for Life here in London.  There is still LOTS of time to donate, so please consider contributing… You can donate http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_even_?px=3357521&pg=personal&fr_id=14854

I set a goal of $500 this year and have already surpassed it.  Our Team “Freedom Fighters” has multiple survivors, and this year will walk for the first time in memory of our recently departed beautiful captain Liss.

All that being said.  It’s a week before my show, and walking for 12 hours will deplete and wear out the strongest of people.  I happen to be at very low body weight, and right into my 10 day deplete / carb load phase… Not sure I handled it all that well last year and I need to put a plan in place that not only allows me to participate in this amazing event that is so very close to my heart but also doesn’t mess up what I have worked the last 12 weeks for… Suggestions welcome.

 

12 DAY PLANS

In the usual spirit of “My Body is a Science Experiment” that I generally go into my planning with I have decided to yet again modify my peak week to try and hit perfection.  I am basing this on what I felt worked, didn’t worked, have read and have seen during many “small mini trial peak weeks” I have done over the last couple of years.

I have already depleted carbs, most of which are coming only from good old asparagus (which really doesn’t count as a carb) and my one banana right after my morning workout.  I have also already started to up my water intake to about a liter to liter and half more than I normally drink.  At 10 days this will go up by the same again.  Monday to Thursday of next week the goal will be 12 of my 1.5 liter water bottles.  Friday I will drink when thirsty with no limit or goal in mind until about 4PM when I will try to limit myself to less than a liter for the rest of the day / night (that probably sounds like a lot to some, however when you drink as much water as I do… I’ll be thirsty) Morning of the show, will take sips as needed until pre-judging is done.  (I know this works for me, but I will not put myself at risk of dehydration.)   Friday; the day before the show should be fun.  I have a nail appointment at 10 am… all this work deserves some pampering and my Mama got me a mani pedi for my birthday that I have been hanging onto for just this.  Mid-afternoon I will start adding in carbs (I am a bikini / fitness model I do not want to look too tight, or vascular) the carbs I know work for me are things like apples, and fruit, rice cakes etc.  Later in the afternoon I have an appointment for my tan.  Followed by the athletes meeting at 6 PM.  And oh yes, dinner of some sweet potato, lean steak and a lovely glass of vino

 

Workouts will stay as they have been until after this Thursday.  Friday being the relay I am obviously going to try and nap, sleep in etc.  Since I’ll be up all night.  Saturday if it is nice will be the same again, hopefully at the beach.   Sunday, Monday, Tuesday (Days 6, 5, 4 out) will be higher reps, lighter weights – 2 exercises per muscle group with Sunday being my last day doing legs.  Wednesday, Thursday will likely be my toughest days… Stick to my diet, no workouts, work and rest as much as possible as well as organize everything I can for Saturday.

 

I’m sure something will occur to me between now and then… or I’ll just have low carb brain and post about my gym sneakers, the cloud that looks like a burger or the contents of my gym bag …