Brain F!CK$%

I know I hav’ent been writing all that fitness related articles since restarting my blog recently.  I’ve actually had a hard time coming up with ideas.  I had thought to re-post allot of my old articles and while I know I saved them somewhere am having a hard time digging them up.

Last year this time I had a million things to write about.  This year, I feel like I have nothing to share even though I know way more than I did a year ago.  Two thoughts on this.  1.  I am losing my edge or just plain losing it.  2.  The more I know the less questions I have and thus the less things to ask others about.

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Here’s a mind F!CK for the night.  I have been working out 5-6 days a week for months, since the move back to my home town.  I am not eating as “clean” as I should.  Quite honestly I am eating badly.  Too few calories,mostly the right type of macros.  However, I look in the mirror and sometimes think “good job”  and other times think “ugh, you look awful”.  However tonight I put on a nightgown that I don’t often wear.  Its pretty and frilly.  There is nobody to see it, but it makes me feel good.  However when I bought it, I couldn’t do it up.  During my leanest in June for the UFE Showdown I could do up one button of two.  Tonight I put it on and it does up and is lose.  Yet I do not see it right now.  I feel very out of shape regardless of hitting my PB’S at the gym, fitting into smaller clothing I do not feel fit.

UFE SHOWDOWN JUNE 2013
UFE SHOWDOWN JUNE 2013

I totally know that its a mental thing.  I know I am not eating properly and stress is getting to me, and I also know I should see that I am leaner then before but I don’t.  For years when I was heavy I dressed like I was thin.  When I got thin (again)  I dressed like I was heavy.  I am completely aware this is some sort of psychological brain fart going on in my female mind but REALLY:?!?  Ugh.  I like to think that I have it together yet I constantly catch myself in the barbie doll mentality

EXPECTATIONS VS. RELALITY
EXPECTATIONS VS. RELALITY

Anyone else?

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Brain F!CK$%”

  1. I’ve gone through periods where I can write and write endlessly and other times where I feel like I have nothing. For a blog, when all else fails, just write about what you are doing now. What’s going on with you. Simple stuff right!? The good, the bad, the things you think nobody would care about (but we do,) all of it. I can’t wait to have the time to write in my blog frequently again (no time soon!) Don’t worry, you’re writing passion will be back.

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    1. Ya I know. Just not into it. It will come! At least I’m back reading all my favorites. And seeing as I started up under a different address nobodies reading my blog much right now anyways! Lol

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      1. It will come indeed! If you are anything like me the more you get into your own fitness the more you will be into your blog.

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