What do you expect of yourself?
Personally, I “expect” that I will be a fabulous Mom, daughter, friend and one day a wife. I expect that now that I have found what works for me with health and fitness that I will be perfectly fit and healthy for the rest of my life. I expect that I will have a fufilling and rewarding career, my dog will be the epitome of well trained, and the kids will be happy, healthy, polite and grow up to be kind, loving, giving members of society.
What is the reality?
Me as a daughter: I have no relationship with my Dad but I love my Mom like no other and respect and cherish everything she has ever done for me She gives me hope that even though my kids sometimes drive me batty at some point they will calm down and do better and love me again….
Me as a Mom: I am a good Mom, but I am not perfect. My children have to make mistakes to learn from them, which I wish they would do just a little less often. I sometimes yell at them, sometimes they really deserve it, and sometimes I have to apologize. I think the fact that I know when and how to apologize is probably one of my better qualities. They need to know that Mom’s make mistakes too, and I can’t always ask them to apologize and not do the same. I thoroughly believe that time-outs were not made for children, they were made for parents!
My Dog: Smudges was the newest addition to the family last Christmas. She’s a cute little girl dog that is mostly sweet. However we got her in December and she hates the cold with a passion. She does’nt bark, like ever! Which is awesome. And she lets us dress her up like the little cat in a dog suit that she is. But she still craps on the floor in the basement every once in a while…. hmmmm, I blame that on the kids not the dog! Oh well.
Me and my career: I have done amazing things over the years. I know that I am smart and a quick learner, so why am I still struggling to find a job? I will blame the awful employment market here. I’ll honestly do just about anything but the jobs I am qualified for they think I’ll charge too much (i wouldnt, I just want to work) and the jobs that I am over qualified for, won’t hire me because they think its just a stop gap till I find something better.
Me and Fitness: When I started this journey I was pushing 200 lbs at my heaviest. Its been two years this week since I started working out. My attitude, mind, body and life have changed since. I can honestly say that I am positive that I will never ever go back to the way I was before I learned to love weights. However, right now I have no specific health goals. I do not look the best I ever have, because well…. when you diet down for a show, and dehydrate to show off every single good thing there, and you’re a mother with two kids… you cannot maintain that! So, I look in the mirror some days and think “damn! I look good” and in the mirror others and think “ugh, not my best”. I go out for dinner and order a beer and a burger when my friends all expect that I should order a salad or something, and I see the looks. I sometimes feel that I am letting my friends who are struggling with their own health down when I do it. That’s not a good feeling.
Nobody perfect all of the time. What are some of the unreasonable expectations in your own life?